Is this really normal? Do you also get emotional every time your birthday is about to come? Am I the only one starting to make a big deal out of being twenty-five years old soon? I don’t know where all these are coming from. I think I just couldn’t forget how others would describe their quarter-life experiences, adventures, misfortunes and stories.
When I was still a teenager, I have this fascination for those who are already in their mid-20s or late-20s. I have always regarded them as grown-ups who are living their lives to the fullest and those who already have ideas on what to do with their lives. Now that I am almost 25, I realized that I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WANT AND WHERE I WANT TO GO. As of now, I just go with the flow and try to make sense of all the choices I have made in the past few years.
My 24th year was a complete roller coaster ride. It was a year of discovery for me. At 24, I made bad decisions and wrong choices – some of those I regret and some not. People who know all the mistakes and wrong things I did are probably judging me right now. Here’s the truth: Knowing that they judge the way I live my life is bothering me (but not so much).
In spite of that, I wonder why I still feel happy. Shouldn’t I be minding all the talks that they make behind my back? Shouldn’t I be concerned of how they look at me? I don’t know what keeps me going and I wouldn’t stress myself in finding out the answer. What matters right now is that I am still here. I have survived my 24th year and I need to prepare myself for all the battles that I need to face in the future.
Anyway, this photo somehow gives me comfort (HAHAHA):
So for now, my plan is just to go with the flow. I know that one day, I'll figure things out.