Saturday, February 20

Focusing On What I Gained Instead of What I Lost Because of Law School


"Trust me when I say you would not want to be in law school..." 

It is a crazy, stressful, depressing world to be in. Everyday, you find yourself studying for a recitation which you would not be called for or when called, you wouldn’t be able to answer properly. There are nights spent reading loads of cases, transcriptions and books which seemed like nothing after getting your exam results and seeing you either failed or barely passed. Sometimes, you have to make last minute calls or send embarrassing messages to your friends telling them how sorry you are that you had to cancel on your plans. And most of all, it really sucks when you had to decline on some family gatherings or out of town trips because of a pending exam or a school obligation you need to attend to.

If this is how I feel about law school, then how come I am still here? How come I still find in myself the drive to become a lawyer? The truth is I really don't know. It's just that even if everything seems quite impossible in school, I still wake up everyday feeling determined to finish what I started. It was only in law school where all my self-respect and self-worth were almost lost. You have no idea how I try so hard to convince myself that everything is "still" worth it. When I look back to how I survived my first few years in law school, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself. There were many times when I was about to give up but somehow, I was able to survive my personal battles. 

I've been here for almost four years already and guess what, I'm not even sure when I will be graduating. (HAHAHA) As of the moment, I am focusing not on the years, opportunities and people I lost because of my choice to stay in law school but rather on all the wonderful memories, moments, friends and experiences I gained. 

Let me share this here: Last week, my law school friends and I gave ourselves some "break" by participating in the annual Conflicts of Law. I was so busy for the three-day event especially that I was one of the organizers for the opening night together with my LA family and for the Meeting of the Minds (MOTM) on the second night with my Eskriba family. To top it all, I also got myself invested in playing and hanging out with my fellow Red Dragons (3rd year team).


We did not emerge as the winner and as what I always say, "It's completely okay." (PS Congrats to the Titans!) What mattered was the fact that we stood side by side with each other. Surprisingly, after the Conflicts 2016, we became closer, as if the transparent barrier separating us from each other was finally taken down. I see myself smiling every morning as I read messages from them or Facebook comments on our group. During class, I feel more comfortable as we laugh about our Conflicts 2016 stories and bloopers. They may not notice but I look each and every one feeling immense happiness knowing that in my crazy and stressful law school world, I have these people with me. They are the ones who make law school life less boring and more fun. True enough, studying law may have caused me so many heartbreaks but it is such a relief to know that through it, I met some people I would treasure for the rest of my life. 

I don't think I'd still be here without them. So to all my true law school friends, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am forever indebted to you. My prayer will always be that we may soon reach our dreams. We've fought hard enough and quitting will never be an option. Some of us may finish first while some may finish last but always remember that what matters the most is that we reach the finish line. It doesn't matter how long it takes us. Again, we differ in our "phasing." Let us not compare one's Chapter one with the others' Chapter ten. We will get there. Someday.

So let me change my statement above: "Trust me when I say you would not want to be in law school." It may be a crazy, stressful and depressing world to be in but somehow, when you focus on the good stuff, you will see that it is the world you'd love to be in. And hopefully, not for long.

1 comment:

Let's talk over a cup of coffee.