For the days that I completely feel shi*tty about things, all I do is write on my journal and remind myself of this beautiful affirmation: It is okay to believe in unicorns and dragons, and to know that you are made of stardust and are a unique miracle whose existence is essential to earth. You just need to open your eyes wide enough to really see that anything is possible and for that you are not bound down, you are limitless.
Life is like riding a ferris wheel.You always get excited the first time you ride it. When you reach the top, it would seem like everything is perfect -- imagine the excitement, the adrenaline rush, the pure bliss. Then the next minute, the experience would be about going down and from there, you start to realize that the moment of happiness was only passing. It was just a phase and now it's time for the feeling of despondency. All the hopes that used to fire up your soul are lost and replaced with emptiness. BUT then again, it is just a phase in your life. The ferris wheel is bound to go up again. So it is just a cycle.
I would be a hypocrite to say that I'm not tired of this cycle. There are several moments when I wish I could just stay on the ecstatic state forever. I know it's impossible 'cause every once in a while, there is a need to be in miserable state. That's life and we have no choice but to deal with it. For the past few weeks, I have been obsessing about how difficult everything in my life has become. I kept on complaining and overreacting until this morning... I woke up feeling exhausted of all these issues and dramas which take up so much of my time and emotions. Maybe it is time to prepare myself again for that ferris wheel ride back to the top.
It's time to remind myself that there is no need to "feel" all the time. And it's absolutely okay.
It's time to stop putting so much pressure in every aspect of my life.
It's time to let go and let loose.
It's time to move forward.
It's time to make some changes and right decisions.
It's time to enjoy my own solitude.
It's time to be alone and not feel lonely.
It's time to stop asking "why" and wait for the right time to come.
It's time to keep calm and relax.
It's time to stop caring for other people who do not deserve any affection at all.
It's time to stop believing the promises and words of inconsistent people.
It's time to dream big again.
It's time to keep my guards down but keep the walls intact.
It's time to give others a chance.
It's time to let others in. It's going to be alright.
Most importantly, it's time to stop all the drama. From now on, I will take every single thing, word, circumstance or person at face value. No more overthinking. No more spending the nights and mornings wondering what could have happened if I do this or that. No more giving justification for all the wrongs things that people do. No more expectations. I'll read more novels and watch better movies. So for now, I'll be content with just staring at the stars every night and believing in the beauty of infinite things. All these will make sense someday. Yes, I am so excited for the happy days. I would like to believe someone out there is worth it to share these future days with. I will wait. I promise.