Friday, June 15

A Talk About Love

You know relationships and love are two different things. You can be in a relationship with someone but not love them. You can love someone and not be in a relationship with them.


If you are in love with a person and you are in a happy relationship with them, that means you've got something good and you better not screw it up.

On the other hand, even when you love your partner from the bottom of your heart, sometimes, being in a relationship with them is hard.

At the starting of a relationship, it's easy to overlook all the problems and just be excited about everything.

But when the emotions settle down, and you really understand that person, you realize whether or not you really love them.

It is true that if you two love each other, most of the relationship problems are easily solved.

For me, love depends on how a man makes me feel. How he makes he feel about myself, and how he feels about me.

At first, I used to mistake love for the surge of emotions I got in the starting of a relationship.

But then I realized, those were just hormones. Love is more meaningful than just hormones.

Love is much more about trust and respect. It's when you know that you have someone who will always be with you through thick and thin.

It's when you know someone understands you and will support you no matter what.

It's when you know that you will not do anything to hurt that person and neither will they.

You know, they say that with love comes jealousy, insecurity, and a lot of negative feelings.

I think that's baloney. Those feelings come with relationships, hormones and our own insecurities. Love is something more pure than that.

I am not saying if you love someone, you will not have those feelings. I am saying those feelings are there because of the relationship and our insecurities. Don't blame love for that.

And relationship and love are two different things.


Maybe a lot of what I've written over here doesn't make sense. Maybe it's because love is really hard
to define. Maybe, scholars and philosophers have already defined it and I haven't read about it yet.

31 comments:

  1. What can I say? Love is in the air? :-)

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  2. Hmmm...hirap basahin ng totoong score Gene ah! Malalim masyadao eh.
    Good Luck na lang! :) Take it easy, you're still young, anyway! Cheers!

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  3. well for me, love is the meeting of hearts and mind - attraction, affection, attachment, trust, respect to that person completes LOVE

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  4. I'm not a relationship expert but having stayed in a relationship for 7yrs and counting, I realized that hormones or kilig can only take you so far. What makes you stay in a relationship is CHOOSING to stay in it, throwing away your glossy eyed view on love, loving yourself and learning not to hurt your partner whether by physical or words.

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  5. I guess we feel those negative emotions despite being in love because, simply, we live in an imperfect world. I guess it's only in the life after that we get to fully realize what love is...so consider this life as a training ground. :-)

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  6. I agree with a lot of what you wrote except for the 'what he makes me feel about myself' part.

    I did that once, and I wont do it again. I don't want to let anyone else or anything external dictate how I feel about me.

    Anyway, I think an important thing to keep a relationship is to really be friends with your partner. It's true what you said. It's not only about love. Love is not enough to make a relationship work :)

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  7. love this line of yours "And relationship and love are two different things." --- I really think that it takes two to tango.

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  8. we are imperfect but because of Love, we accept the people with their flaws, we forgive and forget, but most importantly, we are committed :)
    http://elinessete.blogspot.com

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  9. Love is complex, true. But it is the most beautiful thing in the world. :)

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  10. hmmmm ang layo pa ng Valentines Day mare, your eyes are filled with hearts na:) But that's a good thing, we should celebrate love every day:)

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  11. Well, one thing I could say is that "love is a many splendored thing".

    Cheers!

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  12. Very well said sis, now I know the real diff. between love and relationship , thanks for your great post!
    Hope you can visit me back too. (www.iconnectworld.com)

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  13. Rovie is right, love is in the air.. I remember I and the boyfriend just talked about love few days ago. Love brings out the best in us and the worst in us..agree?

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  14. It's also important to accept if the relationship is bad and know when to move on.

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  15. love is really really complicated stuff, wish it had some operating manual...

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  16. Ahhh love and I consider my self a hopeless romantic :D

    For any relationship to work, give and take is pertinent. One has to submit while the other dominates. Constant communication is also essential to bridge the gap and any misunderstanding that may get worst if not resolved right away, I deem. Let the love grow, nurture the feeling as well as the relationship :D

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  17. Sometime love can be really confusing, you will only know what love is after you've been with someone for years and years na and yet di ka parin nagsasawang makita xa.. for me that's love, just like what I have for my hubby.. even if he pisses me off sometimes I still want to wake up every morning with him by my side..

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  18. It's sad that some people can't seem to find love. Buti na lang I only had to kiss two frogs before I found the love of my life. hehe

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  19. I'm not sure what to say. Haha. I don't know when I started refraining from topics like this, but yeah. Haha. I'm sure that I'm not afraid of it, I'm just not sure if I'm ready for any of it. I just wish I have realized all these before. You made sense, don't worry.

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  20. I definitely agree about this. I came from a problematic relationship before, and although we love each other, our goals and beliefs made it hard for things to work out. And although I'm already in a relationship now, I'm not ashamed to admit that I still have some love left for my ex. Loving is not really just defined by being in a relationship with the person. It's a lot more than that.

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  21. This is by far the best post I've read about love. Truly from someone who experience genuine love. :)

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  22. It may take a long time for us to understand what love is all about. For me it is not about one dominating and the other one submitting. It is meeting each other half way. It is accepting that one is better on somethings and yet not being insecure about it, like parallel lines that always has space in order not to suffocate each other.

    Once the demanding notions or the "what about me" conversation with ourselves are replaced by " how creatively can I grow with this person more ," once you have stopped having expectations , perhaps that will be the time that one had been enlightened from it all.

    Other than that, one should not be surprised if one ends up alone, single, worst confused. People were not born to be shaped according to our needs. And one should not be called happy because he is on a relationship. Happiness is more than meets the eye.

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  23. LOVE is such a beautiful thing :-) our relationship is not perfect but LOVE is surely around us :-) I love your article :-)

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  24. sometimes it is easy to just follow the flow than counter it, hope things will work for you

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  25. Love is wonderful but we need to give this to the right person!

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  26. Seems you really much in love. It's true love is very hard to define.

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  27. sometimes i thought if it's really worth trying and worth keeping. I guess, when you have responsibility especially children, it's a different story.

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  28. true.. you can not always be with the person you love. right love wrong time?

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  29. love is not finding the perfect person but loving the person perfectly..:)

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  30. so agree Gene!...
    Love is not just a feeling..

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  31. hmmm.. And you are really writing this post on my wedding day eh? hehe.. and here i thought you were inspired by it.. anyway, i was more hoping that you are feeling the positive aura of the event than letting your mind take control of what you are supposed to feel.. :) mwah!

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Let's talk over a cup of coffee.