Sunday, July 5

love isn't enough. it never was..

for the very first time, i had an all-by-myself saturday afternoon. there were no calls from friends asking me where i am, no invitations for hang outs, no annoying messages from persons i don't want to be with, no room mate for chitchats and no girl friends to shop with.

luckily, i was able to sleep the whole afternoon alone in my little cold room.

i must say, i had a very great saturday afternoon beauty rest. i thought to myself, "this might be my lucky day. i don't find anything to worry about except that i did something i should have not done." well, that's what i thought not until i was faced with a dilemma.

THE GIRL

it was about 4 in the afternoon when i woke up from a very wonderful sleep. i grabbed my phone and checked for messages.. as i was about to read the messages, "the girl calling" (the girl is just an alias i used to cover for my friend's name) appeared in the screen. i hurriedly took the call and screamed, "the girl!" i was expecting the voice on the other line to be happy but i was frustrated. there was a different "the girl" talking to me. her voice wasn't the kind of voice i would want to hear. she was no longer the same old energetic person. she was speaking soft and slow, as if she's afraid that somebody might hear her speak. i asked how's she doing with her new life. she just answered me with "okay lang. padulong ko downtown. kuhaon na nako mcard.. see you sa brew." ("just fine. i'm on my way to the city to get the mcard. see you at brew.") and then she hung up.

i wanted to call her back but i was so hesitant that she might not want me to call her. so, instead of returning her call, i just sent her a message saying i'll meet her at brew crew's coffee shop after an hour. there was no reply..

i was blogging then when she texted me, "aha ka?" ("where are you?") i sent her a very short reply, "brew." in a few minutes, i saw her standing outside the coffee shop.
she was smiling but i knew that something's so wrong. i even know what that something is. it's just that i'm not so sure about it.. i invited her for a cup of coffee so we can talk about the "thing" but she said she couldn't. her future husband, the one she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with, was waiting in the car.

i flashed her a sad smile and asked her not to hurt herself. she can't marry the person she isn't sure of.. and most, she can't stop going to school. it was as if she didn't hear anything from me. she just said she can't stay any longer and she only needs to get the mcard i borrowed from her.. i gave her what she was looking for and she left.
i wanted to stop her but i couldn't.. i'm afraid that it would be the last time i'll ever see her again. i just hope no..


THE BOY

right after "the girl" left, i went back to my table and finished my mocha freeze. i then left to visit my cousin at her place..

at my cousin's apartment: i was lying in bed when my phone rang. i took the cellphone from my bag and saw that "the boy" was calling me. i pressed the green call button and asked him why he called.

he told me that he read my facebook status and then he remembered to call me. i didn't know what to answer. so i just ask him, "okay ka na?" to keep the conversation going. i knew i was stupid for asking him that kind of question because i'm aware that he wasn't. he really isn't.
we talked about many things and i told him that i had a 10-minute chat with "the girl" at brew. he asked me about the things we talked and why i didn't call him when in fact, he was just at street cafe waiting for my call. he was expecting that he'd see "the girl" once again. i answered him, "i didn't know you were at street caf. nah 'his name', we only talked for like ten minutes. you know naman, her future husband was waiting for her."

i also told him that "the girl" told me that she will be going back to school after her wedding. too bad, we're not invited.

i felt the sadness and the hopelessness of a great man over the phone. i knew that he really loves "the girl" so much but he just couldn't find a way how to keep her. what could he do? he's just a plain student who doesn't earn great amount of money while the other man is a seaman who is capable of doing anything just like taking away from her the first woman he loves so dearly.

there was a different voice now. it sounded like it came from a little boy who is secretly crying after losing a thing which he considers as precious. i knew that time, i had to help him. so, i asked where he was and decided to fetch him there..

since he was at the same street with my cousin's place, it was easy for me to see him..

i saw a man standing just outside a black adventure car and i was sure it was him. i went near that man and smiled at him. i wasn't expecting him to smile for i know it's hard for a broken hearted person to flash a smile. he can't fake his smile..

honestly, at that exact moment, i didn't know what to do. i just asked him to listen to me first and to stop crying for it won't help him. unfortunately, i failed.

tears were running down his cheeks and he was ashamed of it. he wanted to stop crying but he couldn't.. i wanted to help him but i didn't know how. i just kept on talking and talking until the night ended.

he sent me home and he left with tears on his eyes.



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they love each other and that, i'm certain. it breaks my heart to know that they are no longer together.. i can't accept the fact that "the girl" has to marry another man whom she doesn't love. i don't see the point why her mom wants her to marry at the age of 19, and worse, with someone her daughter hates.. i don't also understand why "the girl" and "the boy" need to part ways when they are so in-love with each other.

i wish i could do something to save their relationship. i wish i could stop the marriage. i wish i could help them ease the pain they're feeling. i wish i could make impossible things possible..

now, i know that love isn't enough to keep two persons together. letting go is an art everyone must be a master of because most of the time, people don't get what they want.






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2 comments:

  1. minsan, kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao di pa rin nangyayari ang mga bagay ayon sa kagustuhan mo.. masakit man, but you need to let go.. same as, gaano man natin gustong makatulong pero wala din tayong magagawa, we need to accept the fact.. some good things are not meant to last...

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  2. This happened over a year ago and you still read this post. Thank you. :) Oo nga, tama ka. Sometimes the art of loving is letting go. My two friends may have separated and now both of them have moved on. Sana mas maging masaya pa sila noh?

    Anyway, nalink pa rin bilang first commenter ko. :)

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Let's talk over a cup of coffee.