Saturday, July 5

bitter - better.

i attended my fydp class around 8AM this morning. i found out that our facilitator broke up with her husband years ago.. i then asked myself,
"how can somebody bitter make the people surrounding her better?"

i spend 2 hours a week with her listening to her good advices and using them in real life. i share sad and happy stories to her not knowing that she herself have a lot of sad stories to tell. it was only this morning that i heard her for the first time share how she almost died of frustration and how she recovered from it..

when i asked her if she have already forgiven her ex-husband for the wrong things he've done, she answered, "you know algene, i don't want to be a hypocrite. honestly, i still couldn't forgive him now. but i know, sooner, i will. God knows how to forgive, ako pa. but the point is that i'm not God and i just can't forgive my ex-husband easily."

i then raised another question, "ma'am, why didn't you save the relationship?"
she said, "if one of the parties isn't willing to communicate, then nothing would happen. my ex-husband didn't talk to me and even to her family because of guilt.."

my other classmate joined in our conversation, she said, "sabi ng mama ko ma'am na normal lang daw sa lalaki ang maging unfaithful. part daw yun ng transition change eh.."
my facilitator answered, "i'm sorry but i don't believe in that. men can make a choice to be faithful to his wife or look for another woman. if he really loves his wife, he wouldn't look for anybody else.. this is what i think. okay? this is based on my experience. i couldn't speak for your mother's experiences nor anybody's experiences."

the class suddenly kept quite.. it was my teacher who broke the ice and said,
"class, when i found out that my husband married another woman in indonesia, i felt betrayed. you know what i wanted to do that time? i wanted to go to indonesia and kill him because of anger. i almost die of frustration and depression.. i was confined in the hospital for 4 months.. it took me so long before i could fully accept that my husband cheated on me.. then, one morning, my doctor told me that i have this kind of sickness. it was only there that i realized i can't afford to die. i can't afford to leave my son.. i recovered and raised my son properly. he doesn't need to tell me what he wants.. i keep on saying to myself that i need to be strong for my son.. and now, we are happy without my husband. we're even receiving a lot of blesings now.."

what she said taught me a lot of lessons. i even cried during our session because i felt something weird.. i just felt happy for somebody who fell and recovered. it was such a nice feeling..

i must say, "she used to be bitter. and now, she is better.."

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