Saturday, May 3

thanks chemistry.

six months ago, i decided to withdraw my admission at UP and transfer to ADDU. there were a lot of reasons why i did. those were the risky road from the highway to the university; the course (i thought i’d want to be a doctor); and most, the chemistry subject. i must say, the subject was a frustration. ever since i entered school, i only have three kinds of final grades – just passing, average and excellent. i admit, i have failed some of my quizzes and exams but i never failed nor dropped any subject not until chemistry (gen. chem. 111 in UP) came my way.

i remember the day when i went to college of science and mathematics (CSM) building of UP to get my final grade in chem16.. many students were staying outside mr. toleco’s room. some were smiling because they passed his subject even if their grade was only 3 and many were frowning because they failed the subject which means they have to take the it again for another semester. i didn’t know that i belong to the second group not until i got my grade which was written in a red ink. it was a 5. when i saw it hand-written in my chem16 class card, i felt like my knees are shaking but pretended to be happy anyway. i don’t want to look pathetic in front my bloc mates and friends. i hate it when people feel i’m helpless..

right after i told some of my friends about my grade, i went directly to my dorm room ‘cause i don’t want to hear them say they’re sorry for me.. when i reached my room, my room mates were not around so i lay on my bed and saw my chemistry book, which i haven’t really used during the whole semester, placed near my pillow. i looked at it and felt sorry for my own self and most to my parents. what if they found that i failed one of my subjects which i don’t usually do? i cried and cried until the bad feeling faded away. after i almost dry my tear ducts, i realized that it was fault why i got a failing mark. i won’t get a failing grade if i only did my best to pass the subject, if only i studied the night before the long exams, if only i set aside the night-outs during weeknights and if only i thought of the outcomes of the stupid things i was doing..

because of what happened, i promised myself that i’ll never fail any of my subjects again, that i would not bring my parents and myself down again.. my frustration helped me become a better student, person and daughter. i told myself that my grade in chemistry was the first and last failing final grade i’ve ever had..

(thanks chemistry 2)

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